concerned mama

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Posts by concerned mama

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  39

  my dad passed away

  by azaria in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  he passed away last friday.

  i never thought i'd ever enter a kingdom hall but we did it.

  it wasn't a pleasant experience.

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  concerned mama

  Sorry to hear that you lost your Dad, azaria. My condolences.
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  46

  Can "Born-Into-Its" Ever Be Happy?

  by Englishman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just wondering....take a 40 year old male ('cos he's an ex-elder!

  ) who's been born a dub.

  he becomes disenchanted with dubdom and eventually decides to leave.

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  concerned mama

  I am very much and outsider, so my personal knowledge is limited to observation in real life. It seems to me that someone who only half-way leaves....who remains ambivalent....sitting on the fence....will struggle with happiness. If they leave the JW community, but still hold onto many of the beliefs they will have been brought up with, no birthdays, no holidays, not comfortable with worldly people...they will become socially isolated. I would also guess that that person would be at high risk to return to the Watchtower.

  I think that as so many of you have said, deprogramming/exit counselling, either done through your own research or with help is vital, and making the effort to enjoy the world and all the ordinary nice people in it.

  I have found all of your comments very encouraging . I have always wondered how may "born in", who pay a big price with loss of family and friends, make a successfull transition. I am so happy for you.
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  16

  Cross religion mariage

  by 2k in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i have a friend who recently married a witness.

  he isn't a witness, and this is causing some issues with the family.

  i'm curious what is cosidered the appropriate way that the families should deal with the issue.

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  concerned mama

  Hi 2K,

  Welcome to the board. I 'm not JW either, and looking into the JW world is just fascinating....although somewhat bewildering, isn't it.

  I have encountered the same "They won't do it to me" mentality in a young man I know. He tried very hard to convince my daughter that marrying a non-believer is no big deal. Fortunately, they were far too young for it to have been a serious issue.

  I remember him saying to me "I could never be disfellowshipped. I have good morals." He honestly believed it, and he does have good morals. The interesting thing is, he completely blocked out all the other issues that could get someone disfellowshipped.

  Best Wishes to your friends, maybe this will be enough to open her eyes.

  cm
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  45

  United States and Canada.

  by Englishman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  most europeans have more than a little difficulty in telling a us accent apart from that of a canadian one.

  it's a bit like ozzies and kiwi's, until you've met a few, the differences aren't that apparent to the untrained ear.

  some folk even think that the us and canada are simply interchangeable terms for what is basically the same place.

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  concerned mama

  I am really enjoying these posts!

  I have crossed the border before and since 9/11 and have had no trouble either way. The questions asked were reasonable and appropriate.
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  36

  How would you explain jws to a non-jw?

  by Gadget in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in the past, when i've been talking about being a witness they haven't really understood just how much of an impact it has on your life unless they've been one too.

  whats the best way to explain it to someone who has never been a witness and had little contact with them?

  i'm more thinking of how much control there is over your life, and the reason why a lot of witnesses feel down and suffer from depression, ect.. gadget

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  concerned mama

  That is an interesting question, Gadget. As a non-JW myself, it is something that I have given a lot of thought to.

  The average person thinks of JWs as kind of weird, but basically good people. JWs are outwardly nice people, who are willing to do some really barbaric things, because the leaders of their religion tell them to.

  To me, it all comes down to mind control and the fact that Jehovah's Witnesses are a cult/high control religious group. Families and friends become hostages. Disobey, and you lose them. Question, and you lose them. Think, and you lose them.

  Please, everyone, take the time to be patient and educate and "vaccinate" the general public, that JWs are not the kind and good people they like to portray themselves as.
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  11

  Serendipity

  by SheilaM in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the merriam-webster dictionary describes this word as: the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for; in other words, gaining something good, from something bad or accidental.. .

  many of us can relate to this.

  take an unplanned pregnancy for one thing.

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  concerned mama

  Lovely post. Lovely thought.
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  9

  scary

  by concerned mama in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't care what religion they are, this would have been a scary situation for those poor people.

  i noticed they said that the door had to be buzzed open.

  are kingdom halls locked during meetings?.

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  concerned mama

  I don't care what religion they are, this would have been a scary situation for those poor people. I noticed they said that the door had to be buzzed open. Are Kingdom Halls locked during meetings?
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  9

  I'm in love with a JW

  by Beans in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://members.aol.com/beyondjw/inlove.htm

  this is hillarious!.

  beans.

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  concerned mama

  Believe it or not, Beans, it isn't a bad article to a confused non JW. I know it is just a start, and it is just the tip of the iceberg, but at least it is something. If you give too much negative information too quickly, it seems too extreme and the men/women involved don't listen. After all, they love the guy, so you have to tip toe in carefully, in mentioning anything negative about their loved one.There is a HUGE lack of information on how to handle the mixed relationships. I have acted as a "consultant" to over a dozen "worldly" women or girls involved with JW guys. Most, but not all, of the guys are not very open with the girls about the rules of their religion. How often when a questioning woman posts here do so many of you just say "RUN". I agree, by the way, most of the time, but that doesn't give enough information to someone who is in love with someone else who happens to be in a cult. So many believe that love fixes everything, or they have no true idea about the life of a JW, and most of the relationships end disastrously with the women being so hurt.

  Beans, I believe you have some connection with the excellent Quotes website. If you could get more information on there about dating only if looking for marriage, "unequally yoked", marriage to unbelievers, etc. it would be really helpful. I use scans from the Family Happiness book and Young People Ask book, but it would be so much easier if more of this information complete with Watchtower or Awake references was available on line.

  So, if anyone else who has a website, has any web pages that are better, or are willing to write one, please let me know. Remember most ordinary people out in the world have NO IDEA about all the written and unwritten rules of JWs.

  There are lots of confused lurkers out there, involved romantically with a Jehovah's Witness. Is there an easier way for them to find information?
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  28

  Would you or have you used a blood tranfusion?

  by TylerMacKay in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  would you or have you used a blood tranfusion since you the left the wt?

  i was wondering what your feelings are on it now

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  concerned mama

  Reporter,

  I had completely forgotten to talk about storing your own blood!!!! Thank you for mentioning it. Many people do that in preparation for surgery where there is known surgical risks for bleeding. It is an excellent alternative.
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  28

  Would you or have you used a blood tranfusion?

  by TylerMacKay in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  would you or have you used a blood tranfusion since you the left the wt?

  i was wondering what your feelings are on it now

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  concerned mama

  Tyler, I'm not, nor ever have been JW, so I don't have your problem with blood. Because of my job, I do have some medical knowledge, which means that I am pretty up to date on the risks, especially here in Canada. I would use discretion.

  If I was having a scheduled surgery, I would tell the surgeon that I would like to avoid blood if possible, and if it would not cause any risk to my health. In that case, you can use medicines to build up your number of blood cells before the surgery. The doctors who I know and respect try very hard to minimize blood loss in everyone, not just JWs. I would also be willing to use time and iron supplements after the surgery to regain my lost blood cells. Remember when you bleed, you loose blood cells, not just blood fluid.

  HOWEVER, even with the best surgeons there can be complications during an operation where more blood than expected is lost. I would want to be given blood at any time, if it was necessary to save my life.

  There are certain medical situations where blood is still the only thing that will save you. If for example, you were in a bad car accident, you may experience extreme uncontrolled bleeding, and you would have lost a lot of blood before you even got to the hospital. The paramedics in the ambulance and the doctors in the emergency department could keep giving you intravenous fluids that can keep your blood volume up. If they are unable to stop the bleeding right away, which happens, especially with internal injuries where you have to be brought up to the operating room, you keep losing more and more blood cells and your blood becomes more and more dilute. The Red Blood Cells carry the oxygen , so your tissue won't get enough oxygen, even though there is enough blood volume. As the Specialist in Emergency Medicine I checked with said "Cell Savers don't do you much good if you have already left 4 litres of blood on the highway." In that situation, blood or red blood cells are the only things that will save your life. Another situation is when you have had chemotherapy to treat cancer, and your own body is no longer able to make blood cells.

  There are "Artificial Bloods" being developed, and none of them are approved here in Canada because there have been complications with all of them. The are all made from either old human blood or cow's blood, anyway. If you want more information, e mail me and I will send it to you.

  So, after being so longwinded, with the decision being made on a medical basis rather than a religious one, I would take blood if I had to to save my life.